Minimum Requirements For
 "Ranching"?

1.  A wide-brimmed hat, one pair of tight pants
    and $20 boots from a discount house.

2.  At least two head of livestock, preferably
    cattle - one male, one female.

3.  A new air-conditioned pickup with automatic
    transmission, power steering and trailer hitch.

4.  A gun rack for the rear window of the pickup,
    big enough to hold a walking stick and rope.

5.  Two dogs to ride in the bed of the pickup truck.

6.  A $40 horse and $300 saddle.

7.  A gooseneck trailer, small enough to park in front
    of a cafe.

8.  A little place to keep the cows, on land too poor
    to grow crops.

9.  A spool of barbed wire, three cedar posts and a bale 
    of prairie hay to haul around in the truck all day.

10. Credit at the bank.

11. Credit at the feed store.

12. Credit from your father-in-law.

13. A good neighbor to feed the dogs and cattle whenever
    the owner is out in Colorado fishing or hunting.

14. A pair of silver spurs to wear to barbecues.

15. A rubber cushion to sit on for four hours at 
    the auction ring every Thursday.

16. A second-hand car for going out to feed the cows
    when your son-in-law borrows the pickup.

17. A good pocket knife, suitable for whittling
    to pass away the time at the auction ring.

18. A good wife who won't get upset when you 
    walk across the living room carpet with manure
    on your boots.

19. A good wife who will believe you when you come in
    at 11PM, saying "I've been fixing the fence."

20. A good wife with a good full-time job at the
    courthouse.



Definition of a Cow

  A big city school boy describes a cow something like this:
  A cow is a completely automatic milk manufacturing machine
encased in untanned leather and mounted on four vertical, 
movable supports, one on each corner.
  The front end contains the cutting and grinding mechanism,
as well as the headlights, air inlet and exhaust, a bumper 
and foghorn.
   At the rear is the dispensing apparatus and an automatic
fly swatter.
   The central portion houses a hydrochemical conversion 
plant. This consists of four fermentation and storage tanks 
connected in series by an intricate network of flexible
plumbing. This section also contains the heating plant
complete with automatic temperature controls, pumping 
station and main ventilating system. The waste disposal
apparatus is located at the rear of this central section.
   There is a similar machine known as a bull, which should
not be confused with a cow. It produces no milk, but 
has other interesting uses.
                         -- Author Unknown.


These were taken from September Issue of The 1966 American
Red Angus by George Dobesh.



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Page designed and maintained by Deb 
Last updated 1 Jan 2002